Where shall I begin?!

So I have put in 2 appeals with Aetna to get Bri treatment with Remicade. So has her Rheum's office. Today Renee the Rheum's Infusion Benefit Coordinator called and said the insurance company has denied both of their appeals. I said " so is NO No or why can't we just keep appealing, keep fighting?" She said she is sending me a form to fill out which is a Patient Assistance Program to get an approval. This looks like it's a Johnson and Johnson Patient Assistance Foundation?! She also said that if they approve her Remicade treatment this way it would be approx $200 per treatment, which starts off every 2 then 2, then 4 weeks then 6 weeks etc. Hmmm...money tree...still haven't found it. Lottery...still never even win $1!! Yikes! This is so crazy! And I'm not going to say why me, why? This happens, and I will fight so hard and WIN against this insurance company!!! If my daughter has a chance of going BLIND because she can't get the meds she needs, or even to get cataracts or glaucoma-Oh No! I am fighting!! This is absurd. So I called back Aetna spoke with a rep and she said that the denial was for the Dr's office (rheumy) and my appeals are still pending for up to 30 days...huh? So you deny my Dr's request and he sent in all the info all I did was say I want to appeal I will NOT let my daughter lose her vision due to you not letting her have Remicade!! So 30 days is what she said...so we'll see! And on a document that Aetna sent me, it states "that I have the right to bring a civil action under Section 502(a) of ERISA, if aapplicable. A copy of the specific rule, guideline or protocol relied upon in the adverse benefit determination will be provided free of charge upon request" Well...I'm requesting! I will always fight for my kids rights, and this fight...I will not lose. She needs these meds and there is only one other option which is the Humira. And who knows if they would even approve that. But her eye dr and also her rheumy both felt like Remicade was her best chance at getting the eyes under control! I have had ONE CRAZY DAY from the minute I rolled myself out of bed. Won't go into it ...but horrible things happen in 3's and this day had 2!!! So if your reading this blog update please please pray for Bri's eyes, pray for her to heal, pray that if not Remicade then Humira. Maybe God's saying there's a reason she shouldn't have Remicade since there are crazy side effects, and it hasn't been approved to give to children! But still...maybe he's speaking to us in a whisper! God bless all the amazing families I have only met through blogs, arthritis.org and uveitis.org and FB of course who are going through similar situations. I am at a loss for words, and am off to bed, Please God let tomorrow be a new shiny nice, bright loving day:)God Bless